Hi There

I have really missed my Blogging Girls! How is everyone? Theres been so much going on the last 6-7mths that I had to put Blogging on the back-burner. I had BIG plans to do a Diary of our life and what we have and are dealing with, but again it just wasn't in the cards.

Everything is going well! Wesley is tolerating treatment and we have figured out how to have a ~normal~ life again. One that includes trips to the hospital every 2mths, blood work weekly, chemo monthly and the unknown of it all.

Isn't it funny how the powers above take over and you learn how to cope and deal with what life gives you. The good, the bad and the ugly, but also the beautiful. I wont sit here at this point and say my attitude is always positive and roses have an all new scent, because that's b.s.

In the beginning I thought that writing about it and documenting every little thing would help. Well I soon realized I didn't need to document anything, because I will never forget on any level. With that being said I also realized I just wanted to live and sometimes forget. Just be normal, have fun, go on vacation, go to graduation of my sons and pretend we were ok. As crazy as it seems that's how Ive learned to cope. Don't get me wrong....I by no means am in denial......just surviving!

In this survival mode things have mostly been good! I believe the survival mode is also the positive mode! Its all good is my saying! Its all good till it isn't! Then you go on, but you cant dwell on the negative! In doing this our boys are good, my husband is doing awesome and I'm holding strong! Just got my passport renewed and looking forward to going out of the country, hoping to one day spend alot of time just chilling!!

So, as you can see I plan on having many Margaritas on the Beach with my husband and yes sometimes alone!! We\Im going to be ok! Now enough of all this serious talk I want some fun conversation! Some Summer Plans, something fun going on I may not have heard of (;

Besafe ..........have fun!!!

~Sizzling Sunday and Pending Monday~

THIS IS MY YOUNGEST AND HIS GIRLFRIEND 

THEY LOVE TO TAKE PICS!

Which ones better? I vote for Sizzling Sunday, why you ask? Because I enjoy the family being home. I am glad my boys are off work and out of the heat except for the things they WANT to do! I enjoy listening to them laugh and their girl friends giggle, watch them pick at each other - fuss and make up! But most of all watching them grow.

I have came to realize if not for our misfortunes they may not still be living at home! Bitter sweet.........Im one of those moms that could have her children live by them ALWAYS! They wouldnt have to visit everyday it would just be nice to know their ok and at home at night safe and sound!
So before some freak out on me-NO-I dont encourage it, but I would never discourage it either. We have a close family and we love their long time girlfriends. We all know each others limits so we try not to go too far!
As I said in my last post, this is a small house and we are forced to always be around each other if home! It gets difficult at times, but I wouldnt give it up for the world. I can go next door (our store room is bigger than our house and was an old church pews and all!) where I put the office,tanning bed etc and chill to get away from the ruckus lol They can go over there to get away from us also so it works!
I also realize with talks of engagements pending with both by the end of the year and Bridal magazines thrown around the house in every corner this scenero will be over soon enough. Maybe thats why I enjoy my weekends with my ~CREW~ as I call them! I am reluctlently letting go more and more everyday, although I tell them I have.......I havent!
I never realized just how much ~I~ needed them until they were all I had! I always prided myself on allowing them to grow, make their own mistakes and be their own person. Their Dad and I in the back ground if needed watching, waiting,congratulating,cheering on and consoling if need be!
This sizzling Sunday my oldest spent the weekend at his G.F.s families in another town. Its quiet when hes not here. God has blessed me with this time with him. He moved back home shortly after our house burnt and drove back and forth to College. Four days a week he drove a 120 miles round trip, he said he wanted to be back home around his family! The thought of us not being here really freaked him out! I laugh and say God brought him back home so Id get sick of another grown man (21-23) living at home and I could deal when they moved out for good! I REALLY do believe this!
My youngest and I did College stuff this weekend on the computer trying to get him registered etc His laugh is so intoxicating I love to hear it! It makes a bad day seem not so bad! Its makes a good day GREAT! His G.F. would marry tomorrow, so I have spent alot of time explaining the importance of school and being prepared! Who knows if it sunk in, but at least this small house presents the ability to hear and see more so I can help or at least put my 10cents in!
Sizzling Sundays are the day that slows the weekend down,brings us all together to prepeare for the week to come and always open the door for discusssion of ~something~. Its family meal day, the day everyone slows down long enough to stick around and watch a movie together,grill,do some house/yard work and just have a visit! I love it and I hope when they are married going thru the hussle and bussel of life they look back and remember this time together with a smile! I hope they take away from the experience that family is what counts and everthing else is secondary.
I can only say a prayer that they feel as Blessed as I do! Who knows what next weekend will bring, but I do know next Sunday will be a family day full of stories, laughter,arguing(they are boys),schedules for the pending week, but most of all unity........~ A Family That Prays And Plays Together Stays Together~

THIS IS MY OLDEST AND HIS GIRLFRIEND!

THIS IS OUR HOUSE DURING ~FIGHT NITE SATURAY! WE RENT PAY PER VIEW (UFC FIGHTS?)AND EVERYONE FINDS A SEAT(FRIENDS AND FAMILY),EATS A GOOD MEAL AND JUST ENJOYS THE COMPANY...TOLD YOU IT WAS TIGHT LOL

I DUNNO

Do you ever have those days where you have so much to say, but you just cant put it into words? I call it a brain fog. I'm sure it'll lift, but at the moment I just feel ''spent''! Mentally, physically.....period!

What do you do when you feel like that? No, I don't mean depressed etc I mean just emotionally drained. I wish I knew how to do Yoga or some type of inner peace exercise . Not that I would do it I just wished I knew how to lol Do you ever feel like a vacation ALONE? Not for any particular reason, just a soul searching, cleansing mission?!

Makes a person feel bad to be soul searching when there are people out there with bigger issues. Both of my children have graduated, 1 college the other in his second year and I think its part empty nest and part I want to do something else with my life at this stage! Sounds easy enough right? Wrong? I feel like I should be where I want to be at this point in my life.

I did fill out the FAFSA for College today in hopes of finishing one day. Its been years......kids and life got in the way. Its funny at my age I don't know what I wanna be ''when I grow up'' lol I want to do it ALL is the problem I think. I was a Hair stylist/make-up artist for 20+ yrs, actually still do it for Pageant's, Prom and Special Occasions. I've had a Reproduction Furniture Store for 5yrs, A Clothing/Retail Store and a Tanning/Retail Salon that I just shut down at the end of last year!

I say I'm multi-talented in what I can do.......truth is I'm just all over the place and have been very blessed to try different things! Now, Id like to finish my degree in Criminal Justice and do P.I. work.......I know.....has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with my past! That's the ironic part of it. I'm a people person, I mingle and fit in easily and who doesn't want to be paid to dig up dirt on people! (Bad people that is!) I am in no way disillusioned at what the job entails. I have talked to many people who presently are in the profession or knows the field.

So, in short.......am I'm crazy, mid life-in it or doing what most people my age do if giving the opportunity?!

''THE CAMP''

For my sons College Graduation we had party #2 at ''The Camp'' Saturday. Now we are from E. Tx and we refer to alot of places like that. We have Moon Lake, Half Moon, The Cannons, Black Cypress, Ltl Cypress, Big Cypress and so on. The Camp is family land wayyyyy out in the woods that runs along the River leading to the well known Caddo Lake. If you've ever seen the movie Deliverence, thats kind of the setting without the banjos.

We held the first party at a nice restraunt, you know the kind with the cloth napkins lol This one was on the river with a Skeet shoot, washers (throwing metal washers in certain holes lol) horse shoes, a keg (their mid 20's and noone was leaving for night)!

Right by the cabin is a place called Half Moon (I know). Half Moon is the home of several Alligators one at the moment is around 12ft! Now as I said we are in ''The woods!'' which means there are alllll kind of reptiles and varmints! Everyone is having a good time the men are having a skeet tournie when all of a sudden I hear ''SNAKE!!!''

Well let me tell you I couldnt run fast enough! I was mid air careful that the feet didnt touch the ground(just in case) I jump in the back of a truck and as I look up I see my friend running out of our cabin. The men are still shooting and are not aware of her screaming or me running on air!

Now I start yelling ''SNAKE SNAKE SNAKE''...all these men take off running toward the cabin like 'The snake whisperers' and or ''The snake hunters''! Im still in the truck as these men race past me and toward the cabin guns loaded. They get inside ready to shoot the cabin up and it was a ....harmless garden snake. Im STILL in the truck!!

My friend was standing in front of the cabin staring at me, I started laughing and told her ''I love you , but Im NOT geting out of this truck''! As the hostess I felt my job was to alert the Men! I thought I did this very well and at a pitch I didnt know my voice could reach! Im still in the truck! There are ten men loaded with everything from a 22 to a AR 15 and guess what ''no snake'' it got away! SEEMS LIKE I HAD THE RIGHT IDEA TO JUMP IN THE TRUCK LMAO. Im sure ''my friend'' the snake is laughing at me and bonding with ''my other friend'' the alligator!

GRADUATION

Wow, at 10:00 a.m. tomorrow morning my oldest son will graduate from College. He will earn his Bachelor In Science In Industrial Technology/Mapping and Surveying. This is such an accomplishment and we so very proud of him! We have had alot of tragedies during his last four years of college,2 weeks ago his role-model and gran-pa passed away, his Uncle passed 1yr ago, we lost our home and all contents 2yrs ago, hes had 2 surgeries one which included having his jaws wired for 6wks and he also had his wisdom teeth (all 4) removed ....oh and Swine Flu!!

During all the above and due to the loss of our home we have moved 5times in 2yrs! During all of this my son was taking 21-22 and 24hrs! Which if you know anything about college we had to get anything over 19hrs approved by the Dean. Now, dont think for one minute that hes someone who ''likes'' school....total opposite! This is what makes tomorrow even more special! He actually hated school lol......he loved Sports, he loved socializing,he loved hunting.....school not so much haha

So, as I sit here tonight beaming with pride its bitter sweet! My babies grown.......he will ALWAYS be my baby! Now hes my baby with a degree! God has blessed us with him and his brother and I know they will succeed at anything that they set their minds to! Please say a prayer that I survive tomorrow with out making a fool of me or my son! The tears have flowed off and on all day to day....they are Happy Tears, but they are Mothers tears of Joy,Pride and most of all Love......those for me are sometimes hard to control.

He will be wearing his Poppas class ring tomorrow that we had cleaned and added his initials inside. I hope this is of some comfort to him.........his Poppa was as proud of him as we are! What a special relationship they had. Im sure he will be standing on that stage with him tomorrow and I pray my son can feel his presence!