ITS NICE TO BE HOME...I THINK?!

I have lived out of a suit case for 3mths....literally! Whether at the Hospital or at an Apt. the Ark House set us up in! I'm sitting here looking at MY 4 walls not knowing how to feel? Should I be comforted in the fact that my husbands radiation is over and we have a mth break till he starts his chemo again? Should I be nervous that hes not feeling well tonight and we are 3hrs away? Should I embrace the fact that hes doing AMAZING or should I be freaking out at what the future will hold?!

WESLEYS SURPRISE BDAY PARTY 50YRS THIS WAS AFTER SURGERY BUT PRE TREATMENT! WE ALSO CELEBRATED MY SONS 20TH BECAUSE WE WOULD BE IN DALLAS!

If you've ever been told your spouse has an incurable disease, I assure all these feelings and more rush thru your mind! You dont sleep much, you smile and put on a front and you pray, you pray alot! You pray for all kinds of things, mercy,healing,a miracle,wisdom,strength for them,you and your children and thats just the top of the list!

No, this isnt a pity post , but more of the Diary I promised earlier. If I can help someone realize its ok to be sad,mad and any other emotion they are feeling then Ive helped. If  I can help them get intouch with resources that have helped us so far ......then I have helped!

We have used U.T. S.Western in Dallas and they have been absolutely awsum! Everyone said for him to go to MD Anderson(awsum too), but after the near death experience (I kid you not!) at a local Hospital, he felt comfortable where I had him transferred and it was where HE felt comfortable! BUT, I however have been so pleased, I just cant say enough! They are in with the Cancer Centers Of America now, they DO converse with MD Anderson,Duke etc. I highly suggest them if you are in need of a Center Center!

Yes, in past post I told you of the strange people I met standing on Harry Hines on my phone, But it was partly my fault.....I didn't realize hookers also walked Harry Hines lmao! I did not realize a mental hospital with ~self check in~ was across the street along with the Salvation Army! But, you know what THOSE people helped ME!! Their story's seemed hopeless at times and they had no one who would give them the time of day much less listen! I didn't mind really....well The Charles Mansion look alike ~up in my space~ kinda freaked me out, but he ment no harm! Just wanted an ear!

THIS IS THE ENTRANCE AT THE CANCER CENTER! A BLOWN GLASS SCULPTURE

The Ark House, is a Methodist funded non profit organization that helps people find housing if receiving treatment and live further than 50 miles away! Talking about a blessing! We had been staying at the Marriott,don't get me wrong it was heavenly compared to the Hospital chair Id been in, but even at a hospital discount it was 80$ aday!  Three mths of that, co-pays EVERYDAY (Don't get me started on the whole insurance saga....60$ aday co pays),we know the chemo meds are over 10,000$ a mth, because you have to sign if over 10grand and we are definitely having to sign )= etc etc etc, The Ark House was/is our Saving Angel!! We only had to pay 15$ a day BIG difference, now I realize why hospital bills sink people quickly. The Volunteers came by several times a week to see if we needed anything,paper goods, washing powder,food etc! They also called to check on us weekly! To me they were our Angels Of Mercy and I hope to be in the position to help in the same capacity in my area one day!

THE ARK HOUSE APT!

As my night is coming to an end I must up-date you on my hubbies progress. He has Anaplastic Astrocytoma stage 3-4 with sum 1-2. For his prognosis he shouldnt really be walking well or communicating with out a delayed thought. He should have problems with his left side due to tumor location...he has NONE! His surgeon Dr Beshay, was AMAZING and removed all his tumor with no problems! So, as you can see we have so many things to be grateful for! And yes my friends we are blessed everyday hes one of 4 beating the odds so far!

WALKING INTO HIS SURPRISE PARTY HAHA

For all you caregivers, you have the right to be tired....God knows I am! I at first thought how selfish that was and when people told me to take care of myself I thought are these people CRAZY?? This isn't about ME! They were however wiser than me.....I had to learn the hard way! My Fibromyalgia went into overdrive with all the stress and I wasn't keeping an eye on it! I'm feeling better, but you'd just have to understand the disease to understand the symptoms !

THIS IS MY OLDEST BEING THE DR....TOOO FUNNY! HIS NAME TAG SAID DR PHILGUD (=

Long story short ( well maybe not lol) he IS  doing good, Ill be OK and all I can hope for is a miracle healing!  Please keep the prayers coming! He still has a long road to travel, but at this rate he will be one of  the 4 patients she writes about!  Such a Blessing!!! Glass half full kinda mentality (=

.........AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST! MY HUBBIE AND I HIS LAST WK OF TREATMENT!!!

So, just wanted to catch up and share a few thoughts,stories and pictures! This story had just began and I pray I'm  blessed with many more years to tell it! Love to you all from my family to yours (=



                                                                 I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

~Sizzling Sunday and Pending Monday~

THIS IS MY YOUNGEST AND HIS GIRLFRIEND 

THEY LOVE TO TAKE PICS!

Which ones better? I vote for Sizzling Sunday, why you ask? Because I enjoy the family being home. I am glad my boys are off work and out of the heat except for the things they WANT to do! I enjoy listening to them laugh and their girl friends giggle, watch them pick at each other - fuss and make up! But most of all watching them grow.

I have came to realize if not for our misfortunes they may not still be living at home! Bitter sweet.........Im one of those moms that could have her children live by them ALWAYS! They wouldnt have to visit everyday it would just be nice to know their ok and at home at night safe and sound!
So before some freak out on me-NO-I dont encourage it, but I would never discourage it either. We have a close family and we love their long time girlfriends. We all know each others limits so we try not to go too far!
As I said in my last post, this is a small house and we are forced to always be around each other if home! It gets difficult at times, but I wouldnt give it up for the world. I can go next door (our store room is bigger than our house and was an old church pews and all!) where I put the office,tanning bed etc and chill to get away from the ruckus lol They can go over there to get away from us also so it works!
I also realize with talks of engagements pending with both by the end of the year and Bridal magazines thrown around the house in every corner this scenero will be over soon enough. Maybe thats why I enjoy my weekends with my ~CREW~ as I call them! I am reluctlently letting go more and more everyday, although I tell them I have.......I havent!
I never realized just how much ~I~ needed them until they were all I had! I always prided myself on allowing them to grow, make their own mistakes and be their own person. Their Dad and I in the back ground if needed watching, waiting,congratulating,cheering on and consoling if need be!
This sizzling Sunday my oldest spent the weekend at his G.F.s families in another town. Its quiet when hes not here. God has blessed me with this time with him. He moved back home shortly after our house burnt and drove back and forth to College. Four days a week he drove a 120 miles round trip, he said he wanted to be back home around his family! The thought of us not being here really freaked him out! I laugh and say God brought him back home so Id get sick of another grown man (21-23) living at home and I could deal when they moved out for good! I REALLY do believe this!
My youngest and I did College stuff this weekend on the computer trying to get him registered etc His laugh is so intoxicating I love to hear it! It makes a bad day seem not so bad! Its makes a good day GREAT! His G.F. would marry tomorrow, so I have spent alot of time explaining the importance of school and being prepared! Who knows if it sunk in, but at least this small house presents the ability to hear and see more so I can help or at least put my 10cents in!
Sizzling Sundays are the day that slows the weekend down,brings us all together to prepeare for the week to come and always open the door for discusssion of ~something~. Its family meal day, the day everyone slows down long enough to stick around and watch a movie together,grill,do some house/yard work and just have a visit! I love it and I hope when they are married going thru the hussle and bussel of life they look back and remember this time together with a smile! I hope they take away from the experience that family is what counts and everthing else is secondary.
I can only say a prayer that they feel as Blessed as I do! Who knows what next weekend will bring, but I do know next Sunday will be a family day full of stories, laughter,arguing(they are boys),schedules for the pending week, but most of all unity........~ A Family That Prays And Plays Together Stays Together~

THIS IS MY OLDEST AND HIS GIRLFRIEND!

THIS IS OUR HOUSE DURING ~FIGHT NITE SATURAY! WE RENT PAY PER VIEW (UFC FIGHTS?)AND EVERYONE FINDS A SEAT(FRIENDS AND FAMILY),EATS A GOOD MEAL AND JUST ENJOYS THE COMPANY...TOLD YOU IT WAS TIGHT LOL