Hi There

I have really missed my Blogging Girls! How is everyone? Theres been so much going on the last 6-7mths that I had to put Blogging on the back-burner. I had BIG plans to do a Diary of our life and what we have and are dealing with, but again it just wasn't in the cards.

Everything is going well! Wesley is tolerating treatment and we have figured out how to have a ~normal~ life again. One that includes trips to the hospital every 2mths, blood work weekly, chemo monthly and the unknown of it all.

Isn't it funny how the powers above take over and you learn how to cope and deal with what life gives you. The good, the bad and the ugly, but also the beautiful. I wont sit here at this point and say my attitude is always positive and roses have an all new scent, because that's b.s.

In the beginning I thought that writing about it and documenting every little thing would help. Well I soon realized I didn't need to document anything, because I will never forget on any level. With that being said I also realized I just wanted to live and sometimes forget. Just be normal, have fun, go on vacation, go to graduation of my sons and pretend we were ok. As crazy as it seems that's how Ive learned to cope. Don't get me wrong....I by no means am in denial......just surviving!

In this survival mode things have mostly been good! I believe the survival mode is also the positive mode! Its all good is my saying! Its all good till it isn't! Then you go on, but you cant dwell on the negative! In doing this our boys are good, my husband is doing awesome and I'm holding strong! Just got my passport renewed and looking forward to going out of the country, hoping to one day spend alot of time just chilling!!

So, as you can see I plan on having many Margaritas on the Beach with my husband and yes sometimes alone!! We\Im going to be ok! Now enough of all this serious talk I want some fun conversation! Some Summer Plans, something fun going on I may not have heard of (;

Besafe ..........have fun!!!

ITS NICE TO BE HOME...I THINK?!

I have lived out of a suit case for 3mths....literally! Whether at the Hospital or at an Apt. the Ark House set us up in! I'm sitting here looking at MY 4 walls not knowing how to feel? Should I be comforted in the fact that my husbands radiation is over and we have a mth break till he starts his chemo again? Should I be nervous that hes not feeling well tonight and we are 3hrs away? Should I embrace the fact that hes doing AMAZING or should I be freaking out at what the future will hold?!

WESLEYS SURPRISE BDAY PARTY 50YRS THIS WAS AFTER SURGERY BUT PRE TREATMENT! WE ALSO CELEBRATED MY SONS 20TH BECAUSE WE WOULD BE IN DALLAS!

If you've ever been told your spouse has an incurable disease, I assure all these feelings and more rush thru your mind! You dont sleep much, you smile and put on a front and you pray, you pray alot! You pray for all kinds of things, mercy,healing,a miracle,wisdom,strength for them,you and your children and thats just the top of the list!

No, this isnt a pity post , but more of the Diary I promised earlier. If I can help someone realize its ok to be sad,mad and any other emotion they are feeling then Ive helped. If  I can help them get intouch with resources that have helped us so far ......then I have helped!

We have used U.T. S.Western in Dallas and they have been absolutely awsum! Everyone said for him to go to MD Anderson(awsum too), but after the near death experience (I kid you not!) at a local Hospital, he felt comfortable where I had him transferred and it was where HE felt comfortable! BUT, I however have been so pleased, I just cant say enough! They are in with the Cancer Centers Of America now, they DO converse with MD Anderson,Duke etc. I highly suggest them if you are in need of a Center Center!

Yes, in past post I told you of the strange people I met standing on Harry Hines on my phone, But it was partly my fault.....I didn't realize hookers also walked Harry Hines lmao! I did not realize a mental hospital with ~self check in~ was across the street along with the Salvation Army! But, you know what THOSE people helped ME!! Their story's seemed hopeless at times and they had no one who would give them the time of day much less listen! I didn't mind really....well The Charles Mansion look alike ~up in my space~ kinda freaked me out, but he ment no harm! Just wanted an ear!

THIS IS THE ENTRANCE AT THE CANCER CENTER! A BLOWN GLASS SCULPTURE

The Ark House, is a Methodist funded non profit organization that helps people find housing if receiving treatment and live further than 50 miles away! Talking about a blessing! We had been staying at the Marriott,don't get me wrong it was heavenly compared to the Hospital chair Id been in, but even at a hospital discount it was 80$ aday!  Three mths of that, co-pays EVERYDAY (Don't get me started on the whole insurance saga....60$ aday co pays),we know the chemo meds are over 10,000$ a mth, because you have to sign if over 10grand and we are definitely having to sign )= etc etc etc, The Ark House was/is our Saving Angel!! We only had to pay 15$ a day BIG difference, now I realize why hospital bills sink people quickly. The Volunteers came by several times a week to see if we needed anything,paper goods, washing powder,food etc! They also called to check on us weekly! To me they were our Angels Of Mercy and I hope to be in the position to help in the same capacity in my area one day!

THE ARK HOUSE APT!

As my night is coming to an end I must up-date you on my hubbies progress. He has Anaplastic Astrocytoma stage 3-4 with sum 1-2. For his prognosis he shouldnt really be walking well or communicating with out a delayed thought. He should have problems with his left side due to tumor location...he has NONE! His surgeon Dr Beshay, was AMAZING and removed all his tumor with no problems! So, as you can see we have so many things to be grateful for! And yes my friends we are blessed everyday hes one of 4 beating the odds so far!

WALKING INTO HIS SURPRISE PARTY HAHA

For all you caregivers, you have the right to be tired....God knows I am! I at first thought how selfish that was and when people told me to take care of myself I thought are these people CRAZY?? This isn't about ME! They were however wiser than me.....I had to learn the hard way! My Fibromyalgia went into overdrive with all the stress and I wasn't keeping an eye on it! I'm feeling better, but you'd just have to understand the disease to understand the symptoms !

THIS IS MY OLDEST BEING THE DR....TOOO FUNNY! HIS NAME TAG SAID DR PHILGUD (=

Long story short ( well maybe not lol) he IS  doing good, Ill be OK and all I can hope for is a miracle healing!  Please keep the prayers coming! He still has a long road to travel, but at this rate he will be one of  the 4 patients she writes about!  Such a Blessing!!! Glass half full kinda mentality (=

.........AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST! MY HUBBIE AND I HIS LAST WK OF TREATMENT!!!

So, just wanted to catch up and share a few thoughts,stories and pictures! This story had just began and I pray I'm  blessed with many more years to tell it! Love to you all from my family to yours (=



                                                                 I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES