The Dance - Garth Brooks Cover - By Kenshinffx

This song always tugs at my heart! It goes along with some of my past posts! Happy Holidays........be safe, be full and love all you can (=

LIFE IN GENERAL

When you have a sick spouse you tend to absorb everything and every moment! Ive noticed myself finding simplicity in the oddest things. Things I didn't find so simple now have a different meaning. The old saying ~Stop and Smell The Roses~ is true......we don't do that enough. Just STOP and embrace what the world has to offer.
I notice the smallest things in my Husband now. Its weird after 32yrs I see him different , but the same. I notice his walk,smell ,laugh all like I'm seeing them for the first time. I sit back and watch my boys and try to pull ~their dads qualities~ out of them and soak it in! What did they take from me....from him! I wonder if hes doing the same thing now?! Are we both seeing each other in a different light? Are we both soaking up every moment we have?! I feel so blessed yet shorted!?

I guess this is a natural process, I'm not really sure? Life has a way of changing you with out options. Sometimes its unfair and we don't have a choice, but to see it differently and other times we JUST HAVE to see it differently. To soak up everything around us whether good or bad, whether you have any control over it or not. So, my theory is ~Stop and smell the Roses~  Try to soak up all the ~scents~ you can! Cherish it all because you never know what life has to offer you . Seems Cliche' I know, but its true. A bad situation or shall I say an unexpected situation has MADE me do all the above! Sometimes when you want to take things for granted or think ~ Ill do it tomorrow ~ STOP and do it NOW~ ......just the simple things make the world of difference.

~SERVICES FOR MY PHONE PENDING )= ~

Yes its true.....another cell phone in my possession has seen an untimely demise! Don't know what it is with me and electronic devices, but they don't hang around very long! Heck, I cant even wear most watches....they wont cont to work on me after a few days. The jeweler said it must be my body chemistry, but we know as far as cell phones go its my drinks that get them every time!! Very disturbing and expensive this year.

This phone must really be pissed, it will ring, show me a number, BUT wont let me answer the call! If that's not bad enough the dang thing keeps beeping to tell me I have a text, BUT I cant see it!! Its trying to torture me for what I don't know? Over use? Using as a flash light and disgracing its intentional purpose? Using it till its so hot it hurts to keep up to my ear......over talking is probably the root to the problem! The dt cokes are a mercy killing!

I never realized how addicted I was to the Internet from my phone. Checking my Blogs, face book,GPS and Map Quest. Just to be able to look something up at a blink did spoil me! I had to go on an ~actual~ computer and order me another phone from EBay! It wasn't easy either. I think they have a Club out there that don't want me have another phone )= Seriously, out of thousands of phones how could I not win a  single bid??!!  I REFUSE to buy a new one and be locked in to another cell phone company.......don't EVEN get me started on my disappointment of Phone Companies! So, EBay it will be....some one has to drop their guard and take my bid!! Until then I will bite my nails (seriously) and hold out......I CAN DO THIS!!

Now of course my family is NOT complaining at all! They are glad I cant reach them on a whim, they are glad I cant text when I want and they now are not obligated to come up with a ~ltl white lie~ ~I mean excuse as to why they NEVER answer! You know as I'm writing this I may have been set-up??!! Maybe they place my drinks where my phone will fall right in to them...hummmm! Could it be?? Is my own family ~snubbing~ out my phones?! Huh I'm sure it couldn't be me??!! I baby my phone...it is my life line!! I just don't understand why they always choose to go for a swim in my coke or coffee.......maybe I should talk MORE and they wont get bored??!! I may be on something there too hummmm

So, all who know me and know I actually do at times fall asleep holding my cell ( I know I need help) I PROMISE I am NOT ignoring your calls....MY DAMN PHONE IS AND HES LAUGHING AT YOU...AND ME!!!! HES NOW IN TROUBLE AND WILL GO INTO THE ~DRAWER OF SHAMEEEE~ (echoing sound by the way lmbo) I will now embarrass all the phones who did not hang with me thru thick and thin and especially the WET!! I must teach the new one how to swim!!

I will buy a bigger and better version of you!! I will buy a water proof case and I WILL have this phone till I'm sick of it or dies from natural causes.....this I promise!! So, please lift the black ball on me, so I can give one of your electronic friends a better and useful - VERY useful life (=  Now I'm fixing to go back on EBay and I am on a mission! A mission to find my next electronic friend! Maybe one my Chiropractor will like too lol He believes the cell has not been kind to my body...imagine that!!

So, the next time you see me my ~new,improved and working~  phone will be updating for me! Wish me luck. If your on Verizon....tell me what your phone of choice is. Ive had a Blackberry the last 4 phones and am literally buying quarterly! Their not the most expensive, but their not cheap either.....all in all I probably have over a $1000.00 in my ~dead phone drawer~!!! (a few yrs worth) Now that's a sad waste of good money!! Help me out my friends. I have a site on a past Blog that will actually take all those old phones and pay YOU for them!! So, don't feel bad for them, they will find a new home....kinda (=

Happy Holidays and I hope to be sending out many Holiday texts real soon! O.K. I'm a going shopping now and I feel THIS time I am going to find my ~soul phone~!!

~ WTH ~

1) People who Dress-up JUST to go to the Grocery Store???!!! WTH
2) People who treat their pets better than their kids???!!! WTH
3) Peple who call or text you and you reply and they dont answer??!!! WTH

4) Why we ALL cant be perfect??!! WTH
5) Why it cant stay Summer ALL year around??!! WTH
6) Why Plastic Surgery isn't FREE after 50??!!! Insurance Companies should want us to look young, so we will still feel a false sense of security to pay those hellacious premiums???!!! WTH

7) When did it become socially acceptable to pretend to be something your NOT???!!! WTH
8) When did 60 start to seem sooooo young???!!! WTH
9) When did LIFE in general become so complicated??!!! WTH

10)  How did Blogging become easier than actually communicating??!!! WTH
11)  How did Reality Shows become so popular......do we REALLY think its reality???!!! WTH
12)  How is it possible to love Chocolate sooo much???!!! WTH

13)WTH is wrong with kids these days and why did/do we feel the NEED to spoil them so much???!!! AND when did they get smarter than us lol!!!
14)WTH happened to Obama Promises?? !!! (NO, I didn't vote for him and Im still wondering what ~change~ people voted for?!))
15)WTH is wrong with this Blog??!!! (=


No, Im not being negative just having a WTH day! Im sure tomorrow will be a ~Im so grateful~ day lol
It IS Monday, so what is your WTH Monday revelation??!!

~WTH Monday~,Tues will be ~Thoughtful Tuesday~ and how about ~What-ever~ Wednesday and then ~Thankful Thursday, ~ Freakin' Friday~, ~Social Saturday~, Finally ~Sacred Sunday~ Ta Daaaaa

~AN AWARD~

''That Girl With Endo'', just gave me this sweet award! She has an incredible story to tell. One with alot of personal heartache, but also triumph! She is living a life many of us women live, but still it isn't talked about as as it should be! Thank You and I wish you all the Happiness,Good Luck and Fortune in the world (=
                                                                    GOD BLESS

I WANT TO SHARE THIS WITH::

 Green Monkey Tales, D.D. @ Dazee Dreamer ,Angie @ Like Shes Somebody, Shelia @ Opto mom and Grace @ Looks Good Naked! I don't have your address, but the above so will leave a message on your page! Take care and have a GREAT week/weekend!

Everyone of these fellow Bloggers have a Story to tell. They all are different with different life stories and experiences. I can visit their Blogs and experience all emotions, but no matter what is going on in their life they find a way to find humor in it! If not humor then ~peace~! If not peace then ~acceptance~...it all goes hand in hand! We don't have to agree on what everyone writes, but the fact that we can be open minded and accept one anothers flaws, sadness,rewards,illnesses,life experiences and HAPPY moments is what makes this forum and you special (=

The Bitter Truth

So, my friend and fellow Blogger Angie decided to walk again. Shall I say shes already walking and I'm going to start tomorrow. Shes the Ltl Athletic type and well.......I'm not ha ha  I have sworn my Loyalty to meet at 8:15 a.m. with coffee in hand. She tells me to ~Layer-up~ that's NEVER a good sign!

THAT WILL BE ME IN MY ~PEACE~ SNUGGIE @ 7:59AM!

As we were texting back and forth our early morning plans I had a Revelation! Well you see as we are discussing the ~Proper Clothing~ I decided I didn't walk in the Summer, because it was too hot! I didn't walk in the winter, because it was too cold! I had already eliminated 2 out of 4 seasons! I felt quite proud of my reasoning's!!

Truth is I ALWAYS say I cant wait till it gets warmer so we can REALLY SWEAT, you know make it worth our while and lose more calories. Then I say, I cant wait till it cools off so we wont sweat as much?! So what about the other 2 Seasons, what are my excuses? I don't have any and I'm actually trying to make them up as I type! So lets see Spring) that SHOULD be the perfect time to walk BUT IS IT......IS IT REALLY??!!  Isn't that when the allergies are so strong......Im almost positive the pot holes in the road are much worse then?! What about Autumn......hummmmm well I'm not getting anything! Maybe its damp, hurts the bones more, ummmm still left over pollen possibly! Help me out girls (=

There is NOTHING like a ~PERKY~ morning walker....good thing that's not us! We like to bitch, moan and groan. Sometimes we actually talk about good things too, cant all be bad or we REALLY would be too depressed to walk! I am grateful to this athletic friend of mine tho, she tends to make me feel bad about not taking better care of myself. Not on purpose, because she feels the same way! When its ~out-there~ you have NO choice, but to be aware of what your NOT doing! That's why I hate the Pre-Summer after Winter talks they always lead to what we are doing wrong! Smoke too much,cuss too much THEN its the ~we really really need to start walking again~ Its inevitable.

So as I set out on this 3-4 time yearly quest to get healthy, I'm still trying to think up an excuse as to why I cant crawl my big butt out of a warm and cozy bed in the morning! I blogged this because I know she will see it and text me or call and sound like my mom when I was a kid! Kinda one of those things, ''If your not dead or bleeding to death'' you SHOULD be here walking!!! I even thought of the idea....I don't have a hat....yea I liked that one! She says, ''I don't walk in a hat''! Well shit that blew that excuse ha ha

So, I just may post a picture of us walking in the morning in sub-zero temps....OK maybe not sub-zero, but it WILL be cold! She will be the skinny one in the picture, the one that doesn't look like she NEEDS to walk! You know shes walking strictly to get into BETTER shape and possibly because she enjoys it! Ha ha, I will be the other one! Since their is only 2 of us it shouldn't be hard to find me! I will look like the ltl boy in The Christmas Story! Oh and I will have a brace on my left knee.....would wear one on my right one, but figured it'd look to dramatic (although I REALLY do need one on it too ha ha)! I have issues.


Please say a prayer that a) I make it out of bed! b) I make it around the track at least once! c) I don't leave on a stretcher, but most of all d) that we can catch up on 4mths, because I really have missed talking to her pain and all (=

ITS NICE TO BE HOME...I THINK?!

I have lived out of a suit case for 3mths....literally! Whether at the Hospital or at an Apt. the Ark House set us up in! I'm sitting here looking at MY 4 walls not knowing how to feel? Should I be comforted in the fact that my husbands radiation is over and we have a mth break till he starts his chemo again? Should I be nervous that hes not feeling well tonight and we are 3hrs away? Should I embrace the fact that hes doing AMAZING or should I be freaking out at what the future will hold?!

WESLEYS SURPRISE BDAY PARTY 50YRS THIS WAS AFTER SURGERY BUT PRE TREATMENT! WE ALSO CELEBRATED MY SONS 20TH BECAUSE WE WOULD BE IN DALLAS!

If you've ever been told your spouse has an incurable disease, I assure all these feelings and more rush thru your mind! You dont sleep much, you smile and put on a front and you pray, you pray alot! You pray for all kinds of things, mercy,healing,a miracle,wisdom,strength for them,you and your children and thats just the top of the list!

No, this isnt a pity post , but more of the Diary I promised earlier. If I can help someone realize its ok to be sad,mad and any other emotion they are feeling then Ive helped. If  I can help them get intouch with resources that have helped us so far ......then I have helped!

We have used U.T. S.Western in Dallas and they have been absolutely awsum! Everyone said for him to go to MD Anderson(awsum too), but after the near death experience (I kid you not!) at a local Hospital, he felt comfortable where I had him transferred and it was where HE felt comfortable! BUT, I however have been so pleased, I just cant say enough! They are in with the Cancer Centers Of America now, they DO converse with MD Anderson,Duke etc. I highly suggest them if you are in need of a Center Center!

Yes, in past post I told you of the strange people I met standing on Harry Hines on my phone, But it was partly my fault.....I didn't realize hookers also walked Harry Hines lmao! I did not realize a mental hospital with ~self check in~ was across the street along with the Salvation Army! But, you know what THOSE people helped ME!! Their story's seemed hopeless at times and they had no one who would give them the time of day much less listen! I didn't mind really....well The Charles Mansion look alike ~up in my space~ kinda freaked me out, but he ment no harm! Just wanted an ear!

THIS IS THE ENTRANCE AT THE CANCER CENTER! A BLOWN GLASS SCULPTURE

The Ark House, is a Methodist funded non profit organization that helps people find housing if receiving treatment and live further than 50 miles away! Talking about a blessing! We had been staying at the Marriott,don't get me wrong it was heavenly compared to the Hospital chair Id been in, but even at a hospital discount it was 80$ aday!  Three mths of that, co-pays EVERYDAY (Don't get me started on the whole insurance saga....60$ aday co pays),we know the chemo meds are over 10,000$ a mth, because you have to sign if over 10grand and we are definitely having to sign )= etc etc etc, The Ark House was/is our Saving Angel!! We only had to pay 15$ a day BIG difference, now I realize why hospital bills sink people quickly. The Volunteers came by several times a week to see if we needed anything,paper goods, washing powder,food etc! They also called to check on us weekly! To me they were our Angels Of Mercy and I hope to be in the position to help in the same capacity in my area one day!

THE ARK HOUSE APT!

As my night is coming to an end I must up-date you on my hubbies progress. He has Anaplastic Astrocytoma stage 3-4 with sum 1-2. For his prognosis he shouldnt really be walking well or communicating with out a delayed thought. He should have problems with his left side due to tumor location...he has NONE! His surgeon Dr Beshay, was AMAZING and removed all his tumor with no problems! So, as you can see we have so many things to be grateful for! And yes my friends we are blessed everyday hes one of 4 beating the odds so far!

WALKING INTO HIS SURPRISE PARTY HAHA

For all you caregivers, you have the right to be tired....God knows I am! I at first thought how selfish that was and when people told me to take care of myself I thought are these people CRAZY?? This isn't about ME! They were however wiser than me.....I had to learn the hard way! My Fibromyalgia went into overdrive with all the stress and I wasn't keeping an eye on it! I'm feeling better, but you'd just have to understand the disease to understand the symptoms !

THIS IS MY OLDEST BEING THE DR....TOOO FUNNY! HIS NAME TAG SAID DR PHILGUD (=

Long story short ( well maybe not lol) he IS  doing good, Ill be OK and all I can hope for is a miracle healing!  Please keep the prayers coming! He still has a long road to travel, but at this rate he will be one of  the 4 patients she writes about!  Such a Blessing!!! Glass half full kinda mentality (=

.........AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST! MY HUBBIE AND I HIS LAST WK OF TREATMENT!!!

So, just wanted to catch up and share a few thoughts,stories and pictures! This story had just began and I pray I'm  blessed with many more years to tell it! Love to you all from my family to yours (=



                                                                 I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES