Showing posts with label witch hazel.duct tape. Show all posts
Showing posts with label witch hazel.duct tape. Show all posts

Thursday, July 15, 2010

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.......................

Redneck Starship Captain
                                                                            

Your Starship Captain just might be a redneck if...
�

Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over

a month

He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp

nacelles.


You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob."


He refers to Klingons as "Critters."


He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns."


He has the sensor array repaired with a bent

coathanger and aluminum foil.


He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the

saucer section.


He says, "Got your ears on, good buddy"

instead of "open hailing frequencies."



He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen.


He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle.


He keeps a six-pack under his command chair

and a gun rack above it.


He says, "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage."


He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser.


He insists on calling his executive officer

"Bubba."


He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of

"Bassmaster."


He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs,
and turnip greens.


He paints the starship John Deere green.


He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special."


He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp."


His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale.


He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen."


His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls.


He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge.


He sets phaser to "Cajun."



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Thursday, June 3, 2010

~DID YOU KNOW~

Witch Hazel is an astringent that's an effective facial cleanser, it a treatment for insect bites and a cooling agent for hemorrhoids (ouch). Now research from Germany suggests witch hazel fights Herpes simplex virus type 1- the virus that causes cold sores. ''Witch hazels drying effect may break down the fatty outer envelope of virus cells, weakening them,''! To apply, dip cotton swab into the bottle, then dab on your cold sore. Its safe to apply several times a day!

Honey calms a cough better than over-the-counter cough surp. Honey sooths by coating the throat but may also help because its packed with antioxidants and antimicrobials. Don't give to kids under 1 ; their immune system cant handle the bacterium that's in some honeys. For adults a few spoons is plenty and if your allergic to bees make sure you don't have an allergy to honey, too!

Duct Tape, an East Texas favorite cure for ''everything''!! Did you know that duct tape actually removes warts better than freezing therapy! Their not really sure why it works, but it might be because it irritates the area, stimulating the immune system! Awsum huh! This is what you do : Clean the wart,then cover with duct tape. After 6days remove tape and soak wart in warm water. Use pumice or an emery board to rub away soft areas. Leave tape off over night; apply more the next morning. Repeat until wart is gone-usually 2mths!

Baby Shampoo is of course a gentle shampoo for babies, but is also used for itchy,red or crusty eyelids-a problem for many contact-lens wearers. Gently scrub the edges of your lids with a cotton ball soaked in diluted baby shampoo (3drops shampoo 6 tbs of water). Then rinse the lids with clean cotton balls dipped in warm water.

THESE ARE TRADITIONAL REMEDIES FROM HISTORY THAT YOU GRANDPARENTS TRIED OR FOR ME MY MOM TOO!

Butter-use it to relieve or heal a burn. It actually increases the risk of an infection!
Wet Rags-for a sore throat,wrap a cold damp wrag around you neck (flannel) and sleep with it!
Onions-boil chopped onions in water with sugar,then drink the surp to cure a cold.
Cigar Smoke-puff the smoke of a cigar directly into the achy ear to soothe and relieve pain.
Raw Steak-classic remedy for the black eye-but an ice pack works and wont expose you to bacteria


My mom was the worst. She was like the guy on ''My Big Fat Greek Wedding'' with the windex, but her drug of choice was ~Vicks Salve~! I still cringe at the name. When we had an ear ache she would heat it up over the burner til the spoon was red and pour the ''molten hot'' salve in our ear!! WHY...who told her this would work? Id like to slap them!
We would have the same fight,
''momma its too hot''
mom, ''sit down-no its not''!
me- ''mom its smoking''
mom-'' that's just steam''
''no momma don't owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! TOLD you it was too hot! ''
Mom- well I touched it with my finger and it didn't seem ''THAT'' hot!
What Momma, did you say somethinh ? Huh? I CANT HEAR YOU MOMMA!!!!! WTH


FINALLY, just a word of advise, Those Nabisco 100 calorie snack packs. You know the ones everything is ''pre'' measured so you wont ingest too may! Welll,it has come to me attetion(and my scales) that if you consume the whole box of the pre packaged little goodies you COULD and I repeat COULD be sabotaging your diet. Just a thought, a thought that I personally tend to ignore! I think I do better measuring my self. With me I think Im being stubborn because I know ''someone'' else has told me this is what you are suppose to have and NO MORE! I - the stubborn person I am will prove to them I can consume the entire 500 calories in the box with out even a sip from my diet coke!! What a goal to achieve huh (=