Have You Ever Wondered.............

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs? At a movie theater which arm rest is yours? What is Satan's last name? Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don't have toes? If your driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it considered a felony? Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all states"? If you dug a hole through the center of the earth,and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity? If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back for the coffin? If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and your the main witness, what if you say "no"? Do they bury people with their braces on? How far east can you go before you're heading west? How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion? Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves? If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling? If you were to get drunk in a country where the drinking limit is under 21, and went to the states and were still over the limit, could they arrest you for underage drinking even though you did not do the drinking in the states. Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball? If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP? Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron? If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress? Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it. If a lesbian has sex with other women but never with another man is she still considered a virgin? If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food? If its 11:30 PM Dec 31 in Texas and 12:30 AM Jan 1st in New York and you have a New York driver's license that expires Jan 2007, does that mean your license has expired? What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup? If a transvesite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of Half and Half?

Glad to be back (-;

Bday Bliss

June is a busy month for us. We have my sons bday, my bday an our anniversary (all in 7days). If I were a nice wife I would let him use that as an excuse for the story below, but why do that when I can use it as leverage for years to come lol

When my boys were little my husband took them to the store ''The day of'' to buy me a BIRTHDAY card! As I take it out of the pretty purple envelope there was one of those dreary kinda flowers on it and it read ''My deepest Sympathy''! I open it up and it proceeds in the same theme, '' Our hearts and prayers are with you in your time of loss""! WTH?!

I thanked the boys and told them how pretty it was and they went along their merry way. THEN, I asked my hubbie if he'd seen the card. He replies ''YES - WHY?''. Now dont get me wrong I was lmao ''inside'', but the look on my husbands face was ''priceless'' when I handed him the card! He didnt know whether to run,apologize or admit defeat.

I have that card in an album and I laugh everytime I read it. He still has no idea I found it as funny as I did. He always acted like he put sooo much time and energy into the card picking process and helping the boys..... can you say ''BUSTED''! As I said if I were a ''nice'' wife I would have let it go, but that one was too good to let slide. Its been over 15yrs and I get the sweetest cards now....Things that make you go hummmm!